So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
