Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
