btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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