If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Can you bring me the toilet please
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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