so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize