the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
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You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
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if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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