i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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