Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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