Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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