One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We need to get me chipped asap
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
