arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
