YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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