FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
