Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize