i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
