you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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