just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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