Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
