I'll bet she douches with gravy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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