I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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