hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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