I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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