my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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