i would punch a child for taco bell
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
