wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
