But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
