He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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