ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
