i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
