the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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