I just cut my nipple shaving
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
