You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Let's get the cat blown out
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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