im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize