I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
