she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
