It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling