At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.