I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty