Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
