you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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