She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Floor bacon is actually really good
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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