I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
