break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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