Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think my moral compass just broke
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
