Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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