dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
