Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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