I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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