I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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