Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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