If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
