Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
