They should really pass out barf bags in church
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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