Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
