I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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