when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
