Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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