Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
