hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
