I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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