Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
